Ideas

http://www.ted.com/talks/steven_johnson_where_good_ideas_come_from.html

So I was introduced to this site through a teacher (possibly the one I learned the most from my entire college career). It has all sorts of interesting stuff on it and really gets you thinking. I came across this video today after not visiting the site for some time. I found it at just the right time. In the video Johnson talks about a coffee house in Oxford, England and how it was the first of its kind. It served as a place where people from all backgrounds would gather and share ideas. He says "their ideas would have sex. This coffee shop was their conjugal bed."

The past few days have been rough. We haven't been on the same page about anything it seems and it's beginning to wear both of us down. Neither of us wants to come out and admit shame for what we have said/done/haven't done. That's nothing new, we're both the most hard headed individuals you could probably ever meet. Lately it feels as if something is off though. We need a conjugal coffee shop. We need a break for just us so that we can recollect and share our thoughts. Not career, financial or kid thoughts. Random, sometimes meaningless, put-a-smile-on-your-face thoughts. Writers read new materials or travel to cure writers block, photographers go to new, foreign locations, CEO's take walks in the park. Everyone has to hit the reset button at some point. We are just in a funk right now and we gotta do something new or different then what we have been for so long now. Do I think our marriage is crumbling? No, we're just going through it.

It's funny how much trust you can put into what someone says who you don't even know. A while ago I waited on this old couple who said they were celebrating their 56th wedding anniversary. Actually it was on September 10th because we had just celebrated our 6 years of dating the previous day. They told us to hang in there and go through all the ups and downs....that it was "worth it." Even though everyone's worth is determined differently and you don't know if your ups and downs will be as high or as low as theirs or vice versa, you trust them. I knew nothing about these people, whether they had the easy life or whether they had survived horrible situations. And I don't know what is in store for us either. But for whatever reason I know they're right and that it is worth it.

Another concept Johnson talks about is that most ideas come from not only sharing our thoughts with others, but sharing our mistakes or errors we have noticed. Sometimes pinpointing the mistake can be difficult....vocalizing it can be even harder. After figuring out what the error is and verbalizing it, the other party's acceptance may be difficult to get. We see this happen everyday. People still don't believe in global warming. When I think about the fact that this happens on such a large scale everyday, it makes me feel a little bit better because, well, misery loves company. I know that we will work through this trivial stuff if billions of people can solve world dilemmas.

Johnson's "Slow Hunch" theory also applies to all of this. I swear to you, finding this video at this time has been amazing. It's like when you hear a song when you are angry/sad/upset and you are like "man, that was the PERFECT song right now." Anyways, the slow hunch theory says that you go through time solving the little problems but you know there is a bigger problem there that you can't fix because you don't have the tools to fix it yet. Great ideas fade into view over time. We're not going to wake up one day and have the solution to marriage. But as time goes on I guess you get the answer...maybe those old folks do know something.